Vulgar Money Talk

Money does not motivate me neither does not having money motivate me, the later concerns me, not staying awake can’t sleep kind of concern.  I won’t say it is because I now consider myself an artist. I am someone who has worked for money, received it, spent it then moved on.  I don’t long for those days.  I enjoyed the whole aspect of working in an industry that was buzzing and evolving.  I am talking about the IT industry late 1990.  Just writing it, it seems like a lifetime ago.  

I remember stumbling into IT, which is how much of the things I end up doing for work come about.  I was unemployed for awhile my sister who was very concerned about me falling into some sort of ‘Under-Class Person’ class, encouraged me to do an IT course.  I attended the course run at Westminister College in Battersea, that’s where I met Alan, Jason and Micheal I got a chance to be one of the cool kids yes I was 25 at the time.  School I was shy and awkward not the most enjoyable place if I remember rightly.

I completed the IT course even though I remember one of the Lecturers being very chauvinistic and openly resenting me having a place on the course which was predominately men.  Most appeared like IT Boffin's compared to me.  The most challenging part was the practical part of the course where we had to create a system floppy disk??? then install the floppy drive and also install memory on the Mother board, fortunately we were allowed 3 attempts at this I nailed it in the first attempt, much to everyone’s surprise, mine as well if I am honest.  That shut up the Chauvinist so it was all worth it.

Went on into IT then became an IT contractor where at the time they were paying crazy money for any type of IT skills.  I worked in this industry for almost five years doing different assignments in many Corporate organisations.  So I have experienced money, now I work for a more humble or is it humbling amount most importantly I am happy.  I also get a chance to meet a lot of people some interesting, some not so interesting, a fair amount of jerks on a whole the majority of the people I encounter are really nice.  Occasionally all too frequently I meet men who feel it necessary to impress upon me how much they earn.  “Like Money maketh the man?”  Not in my books, it doesnt impress me interest me and I don’t need to feign interest.

posted FB 5 April 2013

#62 Money Chat

I don’t like conversations about money

When I am working as hard as I can, it’s not funny

So you get paid more than me

It is expected after all you are a man

Other then talking about money

What is your chat-up plan?

Unless you are going to whisk me off my feet

Take over all my bills complete

Buying all my clothes

I don’t want to hear about your Money Throne

You talk about money as if you get money for free

I enjoy what I do

Can you say the same and be true?

What are you prepared to do

To bring all this money to you

Maybe I am the final sacrafice

To get your Money piles

Worshiping money

Has got you believing the Money Lies

Dressing for the cold

It so difficult to get it right, dressing for cold weather, the layering of clothes is a nice idea but in practice it is difficult to pull off.  For most women society has us conscious and battling with weight issues.  So saying to us we now want you to layer your clothes to create a Bohemian look is asking for trouble.  If you are comfortable with losing your curves and your waistline it is a  look that can work.  I am at an age when I still can distinctly remember having a waist, and a waist you could see,  I am feeling a Gok Wan moment.

His solution would probably be layering with  belt.  With my missing waistline the question would be how large a belt? and then would I not just be emphasising not only have a put on weight (with all these additional layers) but my only option to create an allusion of  waist is to put a large belt on it.  I think this layering and belt wearing is not for me.

Thermals I swear my thermals on in October and off well this year they haven’t come off. (due to this years extended winter) Thermals have come along way they use to be associated with ‘Old Men’ now they are lacy and trendy.  Trendy or not. in my line of work they are essential.  I am always travelling to the outskirts of London where the temperature is significantly lower than in London.  I normally put it down to the pollution so if you want want warmer temperatures you have to put up with the pollution in London and if you opt for no pollution you have to endure colder temperatures.  ‘Swings and roundabouts’

I spent a few days working in Stanmore where everyone just referred to it as it having its own ‘Micro-climate’.  It was the buzzword as we stood waiting to be briefed huddled around a van as the desk provided had a thin coating of ice on it and could not be used.  Micro-climate or not it was freezing and throughout the day there would be little flurries of snow.  Flurries such a lovely word for a plummet in temperature and the possibility of heavy snow and potential lost of life

Posted FB 4/04/13

#62 Put on Some Clothes

Girl Please! Put on some clothes

Outside is -3 degrees that’s a definition of cold

I understand you’re playing that fashion role

But your hunched shoulders is all wrong

Peek toe sandals?

This is how you start scandals

On reflection you’ve nailed the 50’s Look

Unfortunately your face is now blue

I have to ask, is it worth it to freeze

I am sure this is not the look for you

Next time just try putting on more clothes

Or check the temperature

Unless of course you are suffering from dementia

If that is the case , Girl you look fly!

It’s only right that we turn a blind eye

We let this assault on fashion go by

The Affects of Drugs

Life is hard, life is long if you make the wrong choices.  The temptation is to run away when things get hard, remember wherever you run to you have to at some point come back and face the music.  IT’’S YOUR LIFE!!!! So you cannot actually run away, whatever you do will bring you temporary relief, which may seem a good idea at the time, there are always consequences.  

Life is like Dominoes each part is intricately linked to another it’s about getting the balance right.  Sometimes you will have to go through a little discomfort which at the time may seem  unbearable  but nothing other than death will mean you will come out the other side.  Hopefully having learnt something, if not it’s that ‘Groundhog Day’ all again.

In our society there are way too many people taking, drugs or should I say drugs are taking them. Taking them for a fool, taking them from their friends and family, robbing them of their looks (Yeah the wide eyed space cadet look) just is n’t appealing.  Oh yes let’s not forget robbing them of their money.  How much money you need to spend to achieve that level of Euphoria ?  yes we will call it that, as I understand each time you will need to spend a little more  just trying to achieve that feeling you got from the  first buzz.

Now what you would do to get the money for this ‘Euphoria’.  Will not have no boundary as many women are locked in Prostitution, prison and criminality to achieve this ‘Euphoria’.

As I understand the planet is always turning on its axis therefore we are constantly changing so whatever situation you find yourself in be comforted with the fact whether you like it or not your position in the universe has changed it maybe a minute adjustment but nevertheless it is change.  Change is good! It may just be enough for you to realise it not as bleak as it may have first seemed.

#61 Druggy Chat

I don't do druggy talk

Druggy talk can just walk

All the druggy chat

Is not where I am at

I don’t know what you mean

I have no real idea what is meant by green

I have a vague idea what maybe white

Take your leb, your reefer  and your pipe

Now that you are hooked

You can kiss your life goodbye

No I don’t really want to know how you got here

It's not where you started out that is clear

It's not that I have no compassion

My patients is just on ration

I don't understand the drifting

I am not down with the loafing

Days spent wasting away

If I say 'I love you '

Doesn't mean I condone what you do

I am hoping you understand my love

Your life you are wasting

I want you to understand my frustration

As I had hoped a better existence for you

I don't understand your choices

I accept you hear  voices

I want to reach out

But my inner voice

Wants to scream and shout

Get your Druggy ### out!

Yet Remember 'I will Always Love You!'

The Fountain of Youth

Like many members in my family I have been blessed with good genes, must be that natural selection process, as a race of people we have been through so much.  Which must mean our gene pool must be at it’s best.  I have a young face, I tell people my age mention my daughters age and straight away I can see the frantic look on their face as they carry out some mental arithmetic working out my age,  I normally interrupt them and proudly announce my age.  To which the doubting conversation starts, apparently most women are ashamed to state their age me I am very proud of my age and my accomplishments.  I think that is sad, we should be proud of our ages regardless, how old we may feel we look.  A man longs to be described as distinguish you often see men in their early twenties playing around with growing a beard or moustache.

There are downsides to not looking your age, I have a friend who has to show id when buying alcohol the supermarket, when accompanied by her teenage children.  Of course there is the unwanted attention by much younger men (so immature they cannot handle rejection) .  The assumption is as an older woman you should be flattered by the attention, well I need a mature man to match my own maturity.  Not looking to mother anyones child.

On a More Serious Note

If you could slowly see yourself aging you may do things differently or at least make preparations for retirement, or death.

#59 Lying to my face

Stop this deceit

Yes that is my age

My face doesn’t show the crease

I don't have the lines

Of father time

Yes I eat what you eat

This mystery has everyone beat

That is why me and my people

They’ve got us on the retreat

We are tested and probed

Yet this is a mystical gift

We take it for granted

Like a secret seed it has been planted

We will reap what has been sown.

The only downside

Is when we believe these lies

Fail to prepare for the end

Stop looking in the mirror

This mirror is not your friend

It has no way of indicating

How close you are to the end

Eternal youth we have found the fountain

This is the sad truth

We need to move with the times

Don't get left behind

Give Caesar His Dues

I gave this poem the title of ‘Give Ceasar His Dues’ based on a phrase a friend used to say regularly, whenever we were at a demonstration or march.  She would basically say what we are requesting is not extortionate, we are requesting what should be rightfully given to us a Human Beings, this was in the early part of 2000 when Human Rights were hot.  Now it just seems to come up over privacy issues for people who are being detained in prison.  There was always an article or other that was being violated at any one time.  

Universal Declaration of Human Rights

#56 Give Ceasar His Dues

What if that person

Held the key

Knew all the answers

That you need

Should you not at least give them a chance

Before dismissing them at a glance

They are in your life for a reason

This is true

Nothing you encounter in this life

Is accidentley sent to you

Give Ceasar his dues

The Lynching Tree

I wrote this poem over nine years ago, after listening to an interview with Doreen Bishop, who I can now call a personal friend of mine.  Doreen Bishop is the Mother of Ricky Bishop who mysteriously died after being arrested by the Police at Brixton Station.  I remember hearing of the story when it was first reported, it stuck in my mind as strange.  Ricky was a passenger in a car driving through Brixton, it would seem the area they was driving in was near to a known Crack House, this is almost laughable because ten years ago there seemed to be few places you could go within Brixton and not stumble across some Crack house, Druggy hangout or what not.  

Well it would seem the Police had cause to pull the car over as a crack pipe had been spotted on the floor of the car.  Ricky was subsequently arrested taken to the Brixton Police station.  .........  Hours later he was rushed to Kings College hospital where he waited to be seen he died before receiving treatment for his alleged overdose.  The Police reported that he had swallowed his stash of drugs which was allegedly in the cavities of his mouth.  (There after Police in Brixton would often report about the perils of doing a sweep of suspected drug dealers mouths)

There are gaps that I cannot fill in, I have attended many court hearings, the Coroner's court verdict of a Narrative of Accidental Death although this was not exhausted.???

They is also the case of Roger Sylvester, who also died in Police custody.  This case was taken to the high court, the family were successful in getting a verdict of .of Unlawful Killing which needless to say was quickly overturned by the High Court.

Deaths in Custody a sad phenomenon  predominantly within the Black Community.  I have attended several hearings what always hits me is the excessive force that the Police determine is necessary at that time to arrest/detain the suspect.  In the case of Roger Sylvester it was reported that 8 offices held him down, one as I understand sitting on his legs, which is the longest artery in the body, so once this supply has been cut off for a significant amount of time, this inevitably causes serious complications ( No I am not a doctor).  

The Lynching Tree 

Down Brixton Way

Have you seen the lynching tree down Brixton way?

It’s the tree outside the killing house

Where many have lost their lives to date

The tree is legendary it has become symbolic

Have you seen the lynching tree down Brixton way?

I’ve seen it there today

The leafs don’t blow in the breeze

They lay laden with the blood of the deceased

Have you seen the Lynching Tree down Brixton Way?

We walk passed immune to the stench

Of another life laying in the trench

We are at war and our men are being taken in their

Tens and thousand millions more

Have you seen the Lynching Tree down Brixton Way?

I’ve seen it, I am here to settle the score

You take what is mine I no longer mourn

I am a mother I am speaking of all African Sons and daughters

One by one they are being led to the slaughter

Have you seen the Lynching Tree down Brixton Way?

Have you seen the lynching tree down Brixton way?

Have you seen the lynching tree down Brixton way?

Freudian Slips

They say much of psychology is based on Sigmund Freud’s findings, they also say he had deep rooted psychological problems, which stemmed from his relationship he had with his Mother.

I have a problem when people blame a slip of the tongue as nothing.  I believe everything that anyone says is what they intended to say.  Sometimes people just don't have the balls to stand behind what they have said, and want some way to desperately take it back, I am here to tell you it is not possible to un-utter something.

When people are intoxicated or angry , this is where we often hear the truth, sometimes for the first time.  The truth will set you free.  Initially the recipient would be a little shocked, but in time they will get over it, maybe even grow to respect you either way it’s out there and the universe is dealing with it.

Posted FB 30/3/13

# 57 Freudian Slip

What you do

Is always noted

Makes an entry

In the inventory

All your thoughts

Are conceived

What you speak

That's what you believe

Don't tell me about no freuduian slip

What comes out is an intentional hit