Naomi Benjamin Brash and Bold

On the 22nd April 2008 There was a tragic accident in Brixton.  A Prison van collided with Naomi Benjamin sadly she was crushed and died.

Her friends predominantly the people we see but don’t see on the the streets of Brixton, lay flowers and built a shrine to her.  I never met her but her life touched me and haunted me.

posted fb 23/04/13

#71a Should be 81a Brixton belle

How dare they?

Take her from the streets

How dare they?

Kill one so mild and meek

Some say she was a nuisance

So brash and so bold

Now we will never see

Her grow gracefully old

How dare they kill her?

In this brutal way

She was a mother

She was our child

They never expected this outcry

If they hadn’t distorted the news

Brixton would’ve burnt that night.

How dare they?

How dare they?

How dare they?

They should not have killed Naomi

In the begin life was good

It got increasingly hard

Then it became bad

A lonely woman not knowing her worth

A lonely woman not knowing her value on earth

By the grace of God go I

Because it could easily be you or I

They shouldn’t have killed Naomi

In Loving Memory of Naomi Benjamin

For all those who had the pleasure of knowing her

You will be missed Rest in Peace

The Chicken and the Egg

The situation in womens prison is appalling.  There are many women stuck in the Drug- Theft-Prostitution cycle.  It’s like the chicken and the egg, which one came first?

Posted fb 24/04/13

#82 Revolving Doors

Give me six weeks

And I will be back again

Give me a fine

I have no way of meeting that deadline

One, two three, fines

Bang me up give me time

How many times will you have me come back

You’ve seen  me interact

You know my profile

All the girls here stand in line

You know I will be back

Drugs

Theft  

Prostitution?

You tell me what is the solution

Revolving doors

Brings me here again

This is not a stranger

Its become a familiar friend

I am hooked

With no way out

You hear my screams

You’re not listening to my shouts

You’ve suppressed my voice

I am lost in the system

There is no way out

Lost in the system

I have no choice

Mc D's Ballet and Kevin

I will dedicate the post to Kevin.  I met Kevin in the Mc d’s in Kilburn.  Why does the name ‘Kevin’ bring a smile to my face.  I had popped in to redeem my breakfast voucher which saved me all of 40p off breakfast.  How smug  am I ?  Also thought I would use wifi to post todays fb offering.  

So I went upstairs sat down and after about a few minutes a black rucksack catches my eye.  I leap up to my feet and ask a man in the other section if the bag belongs to him?  he says ‘No’ which is correct only turns out later that in fact he is a total idiot.  I then try and get the attention of the woman to the right of me who has been on the phone all the time since my arrival.  Does she not know who I am?  I don’t know who I am .  I guess with the Boston bombing being in the news  and the fact I am a Safety Critical officer.   I am paranoid and safety is always on my mind.  

Anyhow Kevin returns he is 57, I probably would have said 50 had he not told me.  We had a absolutely wonderful conversation about ballet, the shooting in Stockwell station, working in hotels and the Purity of Ballet then I shared my poem.   Which he appreciated and gave me wonderful feedback about things I didn’t know were present.  I must go McD’s more often .....

#71 Missed Opportunity  shd be #81

You didn’t get it

Now your forced

To lean

Borrow

Or steal

It looks so enticing

It wasn’t appealing

When it lay there

With so many others

It looked common

Nothing you wanted

To be associated with

Yet it was free

Lets call it a gift

Now you are forced to drift

From one to another

Like a cheating lover

Everyone getting an opportunity

To discover

Maybe you will get a chance

Someone may give you glance

Along the way

Maybe tomorrow

Maybe today

What is this  poem about?  you will never get it.  It started its life as ‘Regrets’ .

Chris Brown vs Ike

Now I pride myself on being an opinionated person.  I also like to think as an individual, also I am a hard core conspiraces.  Put this all together what have you got?

Now I will say it again and again there is more to the Rihanna Chris Brown bust up.  1, He did n’t her ( No I wasn’t there) if he did hit her why is she going back for more?  ‘If he hits you, he doesn’t like you!’ 2.  Her Father how could he still be friends with him throughout? 3.  Why are Kanye West, Jay z and the likes still supporting Chris? who is a very talented artist.  But if you ‘Beat on a woman’ surely that’s the end of you in the social celebrity world. It didn't work for Ike .  Thats why I say

"Chris Brown Never Hit Rihanna End of period".  The matter is closed .....

It sells records and newspapers.  Rihanna went from yet another RnB singer to a household name ‘Poor Rihanna’  La la la .  Not anymore now the 13th richest Black woman in the World.

Posted fb 13/04/13

#71 Don't you feel stupid

Don't you feel stupid?

Really taken for a ride

All that time believing that

Chris Brown was a really bad guy

Turns out it was a hoax

All a big joke

We believed the worse

That must be the Black Man’s curse

Now they can have their happy ever after

Drowned by their laughter

Of the whole world hoodwinked

How low can they sink?

Taking their careers to the brink

A scheme cooked up by a dream

To be the best it seems

Like cat’s they’ve got the cream

How many lives have they redeemed?

We watch on as they entertain us with songs.

Tell me am I the only one who thinks this is wrong

Younger's talking about Youngers

OK I am nosey, I enjoy listening in to other peoples conversation, not necessary the context of it all, more the way it flows.  Let’s just call it research for my Novel.  I have a problem with writing dialogue.  There are so many things we say that never get recorded.  I overheard a group of young boys talking in KFC.  Don’t judge, don’t judge.  They were discussing a program on channel 4 called ‘younger's’ which I caught a bit of the night before.

Very entertaining, with great acting.

Posted fb 15/03/04

#73 Youngers

Nah dats not me Fam

Deh got it all wrong

Deh need to come to me

Before they continue on

Nah! I don't chat like dat

Believe I don't say that

Need to run Dem tings by me

I would give dem bare facts

It was comical to listen to

I thought it was part of the show

They spoke just like the actors In Youngers

Is true deh don't know.

This is just my opinion

Don't tell dem I said so!

Age Matters

I don't have a problem with Older Men dating younger girls.  My thing just be comfortable with your choices.  I was on a packed train recently then this couple came on and stood right in front of me.  Initially I thought it was a dad out with his daughter then I became aware of the continuous touching and stroking that was going on.  She had a very scared look on her face and it was like the only person who could rescue her was this man.  It was weird and it made me uncomfortable.


So I posted this poem on fb  20/04/13

#77 How Old is She?

It is not my business

That your girlfriend looks

Half your age

Are you so pathetic

That you need to dominate

Unfortunately the only person who fits that bill

Can't stay out after eight

I don't make up the rules

Have we now started dating kids from school?

What is the attraction

Is it the satisfaction of the reaction

I just see perv

Maybe there is more for me to observe

How sad

That you are old enough to be her dad

Laurny Hill tut tut tut!

Although this poem is entitled Impossible Task it started out as Coming-up, trying to comment about the Lauryn Hill Situation, the recent report of her being found guilty in regards to tax Evasion and Not paying rent.  I don’t understand her personal financial situation maybe she is broke which is possible .  The other angle is you cannot openly criticise the Illuminati and not expect some back lash, my thing is stop looking so surprised when there are objections when it comes to breaking the law of the land.

Posted 21/04/13

#79 Impossible Task

Firstly they rule by fear

This we know is clear

Then there is the secret

Not sure how they keep it

Then they have the network

Its all around the world

It affects everyone

Every boy every girl

By the time you are aware

You are in-drenched in fear

So you want to take them on

Realise they will make all  your rights wrong

They will join forces and unite

Do you really need this fight?

One by one we can make a difference

This is our only defence

Every group is infiltrated

Suspicion amongst your family

Can you even trust who you have mated?

Now they created paranoia

You begin to question your mind

Everyone around will leave you in time

What are the answers

I don’t understand the question

Change something you cannot see

That is an impossible task

For anybody  

Judicial Review

This is the poem I posted on fb 22/04/13

#80 Judicial Review

Judicial review

It all needs to be changed

From the stop and search

To the death row lane

The system is corrupt

Yet it can’t be stopped

Too many years of us supporting this stuff

Middle classes running a muck

With four chambers

Cosy meals

By the time you get to court

They have already done their deals

It’s a performance

In their wigs and gowns

We are just the props

They are the clowns

If it’s a civil matter

You will meet the Lay Magistrates

They will send you down

This is the Authoritative Police’s playground

Crown Court cases can be tried

If you get caught out

You will be doing time

The Jury of twelve are not your friends

They have knowledge of your case

They will not understand or defend

Jury service is a selection process

The least experienced get the most

This system has been in place

Does n’t make it right

If you oppose it

Get ready for a fight

Who benefits

Not you or I

We will be at the mercy of the courts

Till the  end of time

Being Hard on Myself

I am my worst critic, I am being so hard on myself.  I set this challenge and it was just to keep me busy I guess.  Every now and then I get a ‘Like’ from a FB friend then I am like yeah that’s nice.  For the most of it my work goes unnoticed.  I am enjoying it, it has brought a very new dimension to my day.  I look around for ideas, I see inspiration almost everywhere.  When I say look it is a preoccupation.  Sometimes it is just the lack of vocabulary that prevents me from getting a poem together.  I tap out things on my Blackberry whilst on the train, I will find a scrap of paper and jot something down.  I have poems in various states of readiness.  

Sometimes poems I write frightens me.  Sometimes they have a strong political slant.  Politics are everywhere, others are just so damn personal and intimate.  I am like can’t share that.  This is why I started in performance poetry over 13 years ago and to date I haven’t published a poetry book, a collection.  Well with this FB challenge I am hoping the book near enough produces itself.  It’s a foolproof idea if there is anything like that.

Posted fb 20/04/13

#78 What Was I Thinking

What was I thinking

I can’t do this

There is only so much writing

Anyone person can submit

I’ve reached my limit

There is nothing less

What can I say

I tried my best

I have ideas

But nothing concrete

Let me put my pen down

And admit defeat

I’ve written over 100 poems I am sure

They can’t expect any more

Some have been average

Some have been good

There is nothing left in me

I even taken it to the Hood

I am so opinionated

I talk so much

There must be something left

Just a little touch

Something I can expand on

Something that will grow

If I don’t try I will never know....

.....

Haunted by Abuse

A friend of mine once confided in me and told me her Grandfather committed suicide he was in his 80’s.  The information troubled and confused me at the time.  So as a creative writer with a very active imagination.  I decided it must have been something he had done in his past that was haunting him.  I could picture him day in day out watching the sunrise and watching the sun fall yet not being contented even though this was his retirement dream (yes I added that bit).

Since that time I have heard of more elderly specifically men committing suicide.  As an abuser what do you do with your thoughts?  there has to be a time however warped and twisted you maybe when it suddenly snaps as to how Vile you really are.

Posted Fb 17/04/13

#75 What Happens to Abusers?

What happens to abusers

I really don't know

Do they wake up one day

And just say I have to go

Do they suddenly stop abusing

Realise the lives they were using

Do they rock on the verandah

Watching the sunset

Each and every day filled with regret

Do they get buried in a special section

Or do they get cremated to quicken their descent to Hell?

Sophisticated Bullies

Bullying at any stage of life is can be soul destroying.  As an adult we experience bullying at work, often feel helpless, somehow under the impression that this behaviour only happens at school.   We know it doesn’t yet it is so difficult to articulate when you are experiencing.  I know I have been bullied or coerced into making a decision at work.  I look back and I can’t even explain how it was done, but i know it was n’t a decision I made freely.  Something about conforming and that desire to be accepted.  

I wrote this poem in response to  a situation that I feel I had advised my daughter about.  When bullying in school happens we always expect it to be physical and involve some threat and money extortion scenario.  Well not always Bullies are more sophisticated these days relying on subtle objecting to everything you say, talking over you, copying your work and pulling people you are playing with to play another game that you are not invited to play.  Either way it is nice and it hurts.

Posted fb 16/04/13

#74 Why You Hit Me?

Why you hit me

I will never know

Is it my presence that angers you so?

I know from time you have been gunning for me

My Mother said 'Ignore' and let you be

Now all the mean words

And the off key behaviour

Me ignoring you

Has somehow made you braver

Did you think I would not tell?

While you continue bullying me

Putting me through this Hell

I don't know what's going on at home

Maybe if you were nicer

You wouldn't feel isolated or alone

I am not here to analyse

I am just getting on being a child

All I know is:

You hit me and you made me cry

For that you will pay

I will gain no pleasure or smile

When they punish you

Send you on your way

Let you know that this type of behaviour will not be tolerated from you

The hit that you gave me brought tears to my eyes

The distorted World you live in is made up of lies

Are you that twisted you just want to see me cry?

Sibling Rivalry

Your Position in the family is so important in regards to your character.  I am the youngest, to which everyone has their opinion on. Let’s hear it ‘You are Spoilt’  To which I would strongly object.  I was n’t and I did n’t feel spoilt.  I am the youngest in a rambling family of eight siblings, we have suffered that colonial split whereby two of us myself and the second youngest was born in England while my other siblings travelled when they were in the early teens to England.  It was a strange feeling knowing you had brothers and sisters somewhere out there that you didn’t know.  I know this is the story of many families does the resentment on each group ever end.  I resented the fact that the reason I could n’t get a bike was because money was either being sent to support my siblings in Trinidad or sent on numerous occasions for them to fly over.

Well I was n’t so affected about my position in my family I was the youngest that was it.  First I was the youngest of  two, then I was the youngest of eight.  Was I spoilt? No! definitely not.  Is spoiling such a bad thing?  Yes it is the worst you can do, it gives that child a false perception of life.  They will go through life not being able to interact with others as we have all had to do.  The way we have to make an effort when meeting new people to ensure they like us (yes that’s what it is about) Children who have been spoilt find it difficult to accept that just their presence alone does not warrant admiration, adulation and some sort of party atmosphere.  Why Parents or Grandparents spoil a child openly it makes me angry.  I feel that someone should pull them up on it.  

The only thing that should be rewarded with special treatment is good behaviour not looks as these are generic and they haven’t done anything to acheive these looks.  The changes families go through effects all of us in different ways.  We don’t sit children down and introduce the subject of  a new sibling if (we asked the opinion) most families would only have one child.

Posted fb 14/04/13

#72 What’s Love Got to do With it

What’s love got to do with it?

Strangely enough a lot

She stood on the chair

Doing her bit washing dishes

Giving it all that she had got

In the other room a new arrival

Who was vying for her spot

She was happy

She told herself

How could she be anything else

Now she would have to fight for her survival

A few weeks ago she was the apple in everyone’s eye

Suddenly this baby has come along

They no longer notice her go by

I watched, I observed what could I do?

This wasn’t my family

This family I barely knew them at  all

I witnessed the rise and the fall

I would take her away for weekends

Treat her the best I can

Here on the weekends

She was allowed to pretend

I had a soft spot for her

This I must confess

The baby grew up and stole the show

Brilliant and pretty

That’s how the nurtured grow

Well who would’ve known

After a few years an elder brother arrived

Really this is what happened

I have no reason to lie

Now she wasn’t the eldest

She also wasn’t the cutest

It was an upside down world

In which she had to exist

I watched I observed this little girl

All she had was her song

What’s love got to do with it?

It had everything to do with it

Because now it seems she’s lost the lot.